This brings me back. Firstly of course to the the original unexpanded game, but more than that, it evokes memories of going through a literal pile of "add-ons" and "expansion tapes", grabbing screens from them for the WoS archive.

Often with addons, you feel that succesfully loading the thing up is something of an achievement. However, I have to say here that this add-on is particularly well-done, simple to use and essentially foolproof. In this case, insert the add-on tape first and then the original. Just be sure you don't have any sort of emulator setting enabled which auto-resets the speccy every time a new tape is inserted!

So, what added functionality does this expansion bring to the original game? Well, I deliberately refrain from giving this away in the screenshot, so again it's a case of play it to find out!

Instructions file included in the download.

This restriction also guarantees that most multi-platform listing games are cack, with the notable exception of text adventures. Of course that really isn't the point because the whole idea of these listings is to study them, using them as a learning aid. I know the author has realised the educational value of the listing because all of his variables are very sensibly named.

Want to change the message displayed when you die? That's line 45 my codeguru friend! And so on...

Actually play the game if you dare, but be warned that the player and enemy bullets are suitably flickery for this BASIC affair. Again studying the code will show you that they are erased just after they are drawn - hey it's a nice touch and here in the CGC batcave we really appreciate it! Oh yes and you have to press SPACE to start playing.

"The Tunnel" is the sequel to this previous entry. I'm sure many of you who played the original will be literally gagging to get into this entry after a three year wait! Unless of course you still haven't exhausted all of the gameplay offered by the "Maze" or maybe are still stuck in it after all of this time.

Sit back in awe at the realistic textual descriptions as you are literally transported into a distant mystical world. Don't just play the game. Live it.

I can happily say that I managed to complete this game.

As for this title, it's not a game as such, so therefore is automatically admitted into the CGC as about another dozen previous entries or even more were not games either.

This program offers a selection of several popular speccy tunes for you to listen to.

The clever bit about this program is that it detects your hardware. So if you run it on a system with an AY chip (for example a ZX Spectrum 128K), then it will use the AY chip to play back the tunes.

Secondly, if no AY chip is detected then it will use the BEEPER. But, rather than using BEEP commands, it uses Woody's SOUND command which is a BASIC extension. In fact it is the SOUND command itself which detects whether you have an AY chip present or not.

So, if you want to hear the beeper output, make sure you are not using one of those emulators or settings which permits AY music even when emulating a ZX Spectrum 48K. Otherwise, you may find that you only hear the AY version.

I have placed this title in both the 48K and 128K crap game arcades so that both versions can be listened to at your convenience.

"I've added an old CGC entry-wannabe that I did last year but never sent it in for the last compo. I forgot... d'oh!
It's been mentioned on WoS though before and many people may've already seen it. The complete game runs in display memory."

So, this entry is listed as needing a ZX Spectrum 16K minimum. Truthfully though it would run on a 6K ZX Spectrum if such a machine ever existed. I checked the stack too - and even that is in the display area whilst the game runs.

This is what I like about the speccy! You can have your machine code safely tucked away in the pixel area of the screen. Then you can even completely hide it from view or draw all over it with attributes, thanks to the separation of the pixel bytes and the attribute bytes. Makes me realise now that the Acorn Electron was really crying out for this sort of facility after all those games I played which had visible machine code all around the screen, detracting from the game somewhat.

You can see parts of the MC program in this title. Just check out the intro screen with scrolling large text. The code bleeds through the text which is a rather nice effect.

Just because the alien opponents may have mastered the art of hyper-dimensional spacetime folding and interstallar travel it does not mean we can't pull a fast one over them when it comes to simple decimal arithmetic. Anyway, us Earthlings can always brush up on our maths skills, but they'll always be ugly. I haven't yet decided whether the alien contestant is incredibly gummy (missing his false teeth), or simply has a rigid skull-like head.

These games will keep you informed of the stuff that really matters. Even more than that, a new dimension is added as you become a mock participant on the virtual world stage, re-enacting the momentous world events of our times - thanks to the conduit of the CGC.

My only regret is that this year's CGC will be finished shortly before Barcak Obama's inauguration. Still we can't have everything. I won this game on my first attempt, by picking a rather obvious shoe-throwing parameter. Will you manage the same feat?

However, my fears were quickly allayed as I fired the title up. This being the first of two impressive titles to be found in the CGC in-tray today.

Welcome to the Walled City of Crap-Escher, which has rested for a thousand, thousand years in the midst of the Great Desert inhabited by only the deadly Bots who have made it their home.

I started playing this one for a while and erm.. started to actually enjoy it. Woody tells me that this game is based on his "boombot 2" engine and also mentions that he hopes that he can lose the compo with this one. Alas, too much effort has gone into it, probably some incredibly "lazy" title will lose instead. Although, I haven't quite made my mind up which one yet and therefore who it will be joining myself and a select few others in the eternally grim "Club of outright CGC compo losers".

Very welcome it is though to get an isometric title in this year's CGC.

Secondly, this is just too darn impressive! A commercial quality Turtle Graphics product now available for your speccy, thanks to Arjun. We used to use a Turtle Graphics program in school as a learning aid for geometry. This would have undoubtedly retailed for £19.99 in 1983 on the UK high street. The downloadable zipfile contains a very comprehensive documentation file, which I strongly recommend all users to download to get the most from this title.

This version has macro support allowing the user to build up some quite complex shapes via automated repetition. Also a very nice touch is the live in-program command reference, accessible by typing "eh".

Excellent name for the program too - I like the pun on the name of comet "Swift-Tuttle". In fact I never heard any comet related humour since 1986 - "Q. What time is it when Halley's comet crashes through your roof? A. Time to get a new roof".

Arjun supplied this entry in the form of a BASIC listing for pasting into BASin. I also saved out a 48K snapshot for the arcade page which I have included in the zipfile - DP.

*Updated 04/01/09* - Swift Turtle now updated to version 1.1. Arjun Writes:- "I've updated Swifturtle to v1.1 with a few bug fixes here and there. Plus I've included a compiled version of Swifturtle as well as the source for the compiled version (since the source differs a bit from the .bas version because of compiler specific requirements). The guide has been updated as well."

Hajo Spuunup has ported Paul E Collins' Mushroom Man for Windows to the Spectrum. This program uses the silicon disk which is why it requires a 128K system. I should point out this looks like another "good" entry and not actually crap! I'll be playing it a bit more though just to be sure.

Imagine my glee as I heroically made my way out of level one thanks to picking the correct route through a sequence of locked doors. It appears that the player is guided through a series of introductory levels, serving to gradually bring the various in-game elements into play, as is often the case with puzzle games.

I can only guess that the difficulty level increases as you progress through the game and with there being such a vast number of levels in the game I shudder to think how cerebrally taxing it might get towards the end!

Hajo tells me that this version has a proper ending and everything, should you make it that far. There's also a docfile with further info supplied in the downloadable zipfile.

"Gentlemen, Start Your Engines" so sung the Grateful Dead. If that line is good enough for them, then its good enough for the CGC!

bobs says:- It's "Text-Only Grand-Prix 2009" and features all the fun of typing, and none of the action, speed, thrills or spills of Formula 1 - including the Singapore night-race."

I have to admire the amazing attention to detail. After looking at the code and noticing each individual track layout has genuinely been inputted into DATA statements. I was just checking that it was more than a simple random track generator. So respect is due for taking the time to painstakingly enter all of that data!

Also, try the night race, particularly if you are still using an old style CRT monitor - you'll be saving energy and doing your bit to save the planet.

This title features a pacman like maze, filled with dots and has a humanoid doteater, (for me at least) this is reminiscent of some of those aforementioned games. There are some other notable differences between this game and other pacman type clones. In fact it may be more accurate to describe this one as a cross between Pacman and Maziacs (or perhaps not!).

The maze, dots and player sprite are blown up to amusingly preposterous proportions. There are no ghosts or enemies of any sort so it is seemingly impossible to die (classic crap game hallmark that is!).

On completing each level, you are faced with an identical level, which takes a short while to generate on each occasion.

Play this for ages and then look up at a plain white wall - you may well hallucinate a negative image of the game!

Strangely, this one is quite reminiscent of when I perilously crossed under Junction 10 of the M53 as a pedestrian a few weeks back, except that this game seems slightly more easy than that particular real life escapade. That junction is currently earmarked for future pedestrian access upgrades (after someone gets killed? I wonder). Anyway, I'm veering off topic with this game-induced flashback!

A cursory glance at the BASIC code reveals this one to be choc-full of BASIC command extensions, which look pretty useful. For a moment I thought I was looking at some sort of Beta BASIC type listing but I know Woody "rolls his own" BASIC extensions - so perhaps this is the case here?

Playing the game, I managed to cross the road four times before getting mowed down. At least the drivers are good enough to stay in lane and there are no problems of traffic weaving. Mercifully, speed limits are also adhered to.

With some careful timing I found a way of safely crossing the entire eight lanes of traffic in one movement, which I was feeling quite smug about until I somehow still managed to get killed.

In "The Skier" I like to think of the player character as a tipsy Prince Charles making his way down an alpine mountainside with thoughts of Camilla on his mind, as evidenced by the huge smile on his face. Of course I'm 99% sure that is not the author's intention - so please forgive my warped imagination.

Trees scroll asynchronously upwards as you continue downwards, lulling you into a false sense of ease. In fact the game is not that easy. If you get distracted for a mere second or two or even blink, you could end up going right into a tree, which will be painfully replayed from a first person perspective. Note the position of the skier - he is in the middle of the play area, not right at the top, so you don't have much warning of trees directly in your path. Also it can take a little while to move fully sideways out of the way.

Nice touch to keep the Imperial measurements which have not yet been outlawed in crap game entries.

I eventually made it to "Slope 2" which felt something of a personal mini-achievement.

This one reminds me of two things. First thing was when I was child I used to go to the local arcades and spend pocket money on the "one arm bandits" in fact too much money was wasted on these machines, but it was highly enjoyable.

Eventually I received a VIC-20 fruit simulator game, very much like this entry. Comments abounded such as "Think of the money you are saving, playing it on the computer" as I gleefully inserted a virtually infinite number of credits by repeatedly hitting F5 on the keyboard.

Of course the realisation kicked in soon enough that if real money couldn't actually be won, then a big part of the thrill had been taken away and within a few days I was back down the arcades again, my appetite for real gambling fuelled even further by the computer.

Second thing this reminds me of is a well known local radio show of the '80s called "Hold Your Plums", which had a fruit machine theme running through it. Robotic sounding phrases such as "Hold yer Lemons" have stayed stuck in my mind until this day and I absolutely cannot play a game like this without thinking of this!

This simulator features expertly drawn high-resolution fruit graphics as can be seen in the screenshot and some simple but pleasant tones as the wheels come to rest. As I write this, I just got a line of three cherries and won ten further plays. Nice!

*Updated 31/12/08* - Woody supplied an updated version of the game. The reels now spin in the oppositie direction (mentioned by Dr BEEP). Also there is now a HOLD feature.

Fans of CSSCGC 2008's Advanced 10 PRINT "Hello " 20 GO TO 10 Simulator & Advanced 10 PRINT "HELLO "; 20 GOTO 10 Simulator 128K Edition are truly being sploit. Surely you are going find it difficult to contain your excitement at Advanced 10 PRINT Simulator. You do need to collect the entrie set, so make sure you have this one saved on your HDD in the same directory as the others and then we'll begin.

Now, just take a moment to compose yourselves, for here we have reached something of a pinnacle in the "PRINT...Simulator" genre. The supplied documentation file is one of the best I've seen. Certainly not overly technical, and with a welcome spot of comic relief. Rodnay Zaks would be impressed I'm sure and is it possibly cheeky for me to suggest it may have even taken longer to put together than the program itself.

As for a preliminary investigation of the BASIC code, we see it is fully documented in the source, easing concerns about future maintainability. We also reach the dizzy heights of line 40.

But the best thing about this title is probably the limitless customisation. The manual gives some outlandish examples of this, including a warning system for those with a potential gonad persperation problem.

Test your reflexes with this one. Now no cheating by down-clocking your emulated speccy! Even if you are the sort of person who when spoken to may reply five minutes later "did you say something there?" you should still be able to eventually get the hang of this one.

I started off quite slowly with some poor scores, but got a bit better at it after a few further attempts. I still haven't got as far as getting the promised "reward" that the program tantilisingly offers. I haven't reached that higher plane of awareness just yet.

Also, don't jump the gun or of course you will fail before it has even started. This one does get pretty tough. But that's not surprising for me since every time I think I have swatted a fly, it is actually in the next room, rubbing its legs by the time I have realised I never caught it.

Imagine the scenario, you have beaten the game TRON, survived the discs of death and then crucially beat the light-cycle riding opponents. The Master Control Program (MCP) is no more.

But do you feel like digitising yourself again and getting back into the system for one more solo lightcycle ride? Take in some of the digital scenery without MCP trying to flush you out. Why not? Just watch out though as you can still crash into your own trails.

OK, I admit this game has absolutely nothing to do with TRON, but certainly reminds me of the 8-bit lightcycle games based on the movie.

In the 2008 CSSCGC we are blessed with the BASIC version, which doesn't actually seem terribly crap for BASIC. In fact it runs at a very reasonable pace. Watch out though Guesser, BloodBaz has promised a machine code version for CSSCGC 2009!

I entered a few notes and then repeatedly pressed the '3' key in order to scroll the "note cursor" back to the beginning of my tune. I then played the notes with the 'b' key. The BEEPer hardware has a huge octave range and a look at the length of the "virtual keyboard" at the tpo of the screen illustrates this rather well.

Andrew writes:- "here's version one of GarageBEEP. Everything works. You can use it to create a data array for playback in your own BASIC program. Most of the keys are on-screen. But you can also use B to play the current note and SPACE to save the array.

LOAD with LOAD "" DATA t()

Playback is done via:

BEEP 240/(tempo*t(2,note)),t(1,note)

where tempo is the number of BPM and note is the note (1-1024)

The editor is too slow to be easily useable, even with emulation speed turned up. Consider it a proof of concept. It can't do rests either. :) "

The first game of the last day provided by Dr BEEP appropriately examines the sheer panic that may be experienced by a last minute crap game entrant.

Will my submission get there on time? I hope the Internet doesn't go down! What's that cable guy doing outside my house with all of those loose wires in his hand? Will the email system hold up? Oh no, not another bad block on my HDD, Oh Christ, I've left the iron on!

So, you can now run a simulation of these anxieties without having to live them out directly (in case you are of a nervous disposition!).